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Re-printed with permission from Baidyanath Pharmacy,
Kolkata India and courtesy of AllAyurveda.com
| Premature
Ejaculation |
A
lot of men and/or their partners wish they were able to prolong
their sexual encounters. Lack of ejaculatory control might,
in fact, be the number one sexual complaint among men under
the age of 50. The details of the complaint vary greatly though.
Concerns range from the man who will ejaculate within seconds,
at the first touch or just prior to penetration, to the man
who is able to receive oral and manual stimulation without
ejaculating, but with intercourse will orgasm within a minute.
There are men who report being quick to ejaculate from their
very first sexual encounter and remain so. There are men who
report having been quick during early sexual encounters but
somehow gained control until suddenly losing control again.
Then there are men who seem never ever to have been bothered
by an untimely ejaculation. Obviously there is not just one
type of ejaculatory concern. |
| "Premature"
or "rapid" ejaculation is also relative to the man
and/or his partner's expectations. There are men who are able
to thrust for 5 minutes before ejaculating and complain because
they had hoped to last another 25 minutes. There are men who
last 20 minutes but their partners complain that they did
not wait for her -- or worse yet, draw comparisons with her
last lover who had set a record for marathon thrusting. Consider
another couple who plays for an hour after a very romantic
evening. In the course of love play the man manually and then
orally stimulates his partner who, in response, has three
orgasms. He then mounts, thrusting hard and deep, and ejaculates
in about 45 seconds. This couple then holds each other in
the afterglow of their intimate exchange, telling each other
how wonderful the lovemaking had been. Does this man have
a problem? Not if both are happy with the encounter. What
if he moves on to another relationship and the next woman
is not comfortable receiving oral stimulation to orgasm and
expects 10 minutes of coital thrusting! These examples make
it clear that a man's expectations and/or the expectations
of his partner (s) have something to do with his labeling
himself as having a problem. |
In
the past, premature ejaculation was defined by the percent
of times the man ejaculates during intercourse before his
partner does. There is, however, a major problem with defining
a man's ejaculatory control in terms of his partner's orgasmic
frequency during intercourse. It has been clearly demonstrated
that the majority of women (perhaps around 65%) are unable
to orgasm with the stimulation of intercourse alone... never
could and probably never will. For most women the vagina is
significantly less sensitive than the clitoris, which is not
always stimulated in most coital positions. A fair number
of the roughly 35% of women who can make it during intercourse
do so by combining clitoral stimulation with what they are
experiencing vaginally. It is fortunate that some positions
that work best for the woman are the same in which a man might
exercise better control of his ejaculatory process. |
| You
might now ask, "What is normal or typical?" Let's
first, however, consider the question,"What is natural?"
In nature the purpose of sex is procreation, and this process
is accomplished by the deposit of sperm deep in the vagina,
independent of the time it takes to do so (or, for that matter,
the partner's satisfaction). Our primate cousins, the apes,
chimps and monkey, ejaculated in seconds. |
| As
human beings, however, sex is more often for recreation, typically
with great pains being taken to prevent pregnancy. Sex for
humans is an expression of love, a sharing of intimacy, a
form of communication, and often we feel it is an expression
of our manhood or womanhood. We have a certain investment
in being good at it! However, it appears natural for a man
to move toward vaginal intercourse, thrust upon penetration,
and ejaculate quickly. |
This
brings us to the question, then, about normalcy. It is my
position that it is normal for men to sense an urge to ejaculate
quickly and feel the need to exercise some control. We'll
finally look at the question now of "What is typical?"
Although averages stated vary a bit from study to study, it
would appear safe to say that the average healthy male under
30, with steady vaginal thrusting, will ejaculate in 1 to
3 minutes, not 15 minutes as most men would wish. |
There
are factors that influence how quickly a man will ejaculate.
The younger the man, the more likely it is that he will ejaculate
quicker. The more excited the man, the quicker he is likely
to be, and related to this, the more novel and exciting the
partner, the greater the tendency to orgasm rapidly. Also,
the longer the time since his last ejaculation, the greater
the loss of control. Furthermore, the more active and rapid
the thrusting, the sooner he is likely to reach the point
of ejaculatory inevitability - that point of no return. It
also seems clear that the more worried or anxious the man,
the shorter his fuse will be. In summary, the man at greatest
risk of ejaculating quickly is the young man who is with a
new partner after a long dry spell and is very excited, but
very nervous, as he penetrates and thrusts steadily and rapidly. |
| Men
have tried many things to slow themselves down. Makers of
the desensitizing creams have made fortunes because men believe
that if they numb the end of their penis they will last longer.
However, most men are disappointed with these over-priced
creams, as the ejaculatory reflex is much more complicated
than just superficial nerve endings. Someone once said that
our largest sex organ is not between our legs, but rather
between our ears. There is a lot of complicated neurology
between the end of a penis and the top of the man's brain!
More recently, physicians have been prescribing medications
that have been found to have ejaculatory retardation as a
side effect, but as a behavioral therapist I have a problem
with this. Even if such medication does work (and it often
does not), it will "cure" nothing. The man can't
take it for a lifetime, and in relying on the magic pill will
never learn how to manage his ejaculatory process in a way
to prolong the pleasure both he and his partner experience.
Condoms might help (and should always be worn in the practice
of safer sex), but in a long-term committed relationship,
condoms may be a nuisance unless being worn for contraceptive
purposes. |
Unfortunately,
much effort by well-intended sex therapists has been wasted,
for many of my colleagues have not understood the dynamics
of the natural ejaculatory response nor the important learning
components of gaining better management of the process. In
part, the difficulty has been with them viewing rapid ejaculation
(a term I prefer over premature ejaculation) as a pathological
condition rather than a natural one. Rapid ejaculation has
been grouped with the sexual dysfunctions, even though it
is quite common and the majority of young excited males will
ejaculate rapidly at least in the early encounters with a
responsive and novel partner. Calling it a dysfunction is
essentially turning a natural process into an illness. In
the medical model of thinking, if there is an illness, there
is hopefully a cure. Thus we find many self-help books promising
a cure in from 4 to 8 weeks! If it is a natural and fairly
typical response, what is there to cure? I am not surprised
to learn that a three-year follow-up study has shown that
a significant number of the men thought to be "cured,"
end up right back where they started from before beginning
treatment. Something is missing in the routine prescription
of behavioral homework given with the promise that faithful
compliance will effect a lasting life-long remedy. Just doing
the prescribed exercises will not change anything over the
long run if the man does not learn something new. |
It
may well be that some men are just more sensitive than others.
There is no cure for what is just one more of the multitude
of individual differences we find among people. However, I
had mentioned earlier two very common features of men who
consistently ejaculate rapidly: High sexual excitement and
high psychological anxiety. If a man is to learn an effective
strategy for managing his ejaculatory response, he must not
allow himself to become overly excited. Yes, ejaculatory control
will cost a man something, for he cannot get caught up in
crazy-wild passion without dashing uncontrollably toward that
point of ejaculatory inevitability. Increasing the frequency
of ejaculation, either with a partner or through self-stimulation
can help. Also staying relaxed both in mind and body is very
important. |
| There
is a series of step by step exercises "prescribed"
by sex therapists called the start-stop method, but it is
not simply starting and stopping that helps a man gain control.
The man must focus in on his steady progression toward the
inevitable, that point of no return. He must identify all
the internal indicators that he is approaching that threshold
where his body will automatically take over and propel him
to orgasm. This requires relaxation and concentration. He
cannot be thinking of his partner's response nor even looking
at her body. He must stay within himself and feel his process
unfolding. Then he must stop before reaching the point of
ejaculatory inevitability. Typically the instructions are
to start and stop four or five times before "letting
go" and ejaculating. I always remind men to identify
what that psychological / physical "letting go"
really involves. The start-stop procedure works best with
a committed and giving partner whom is willing to take the
time to help. Typically the "homework" starts with
manual stimulation with a dry hand. |
After
a few such encounters, a lubricant is introduced, but the
stimulation is still manual. If all is going well, after several
such episodes oral stimulation is suggested if the woman is
comfortable performing fellatio. Remember, with each of these
steps, the stimulation is started and, as the point of no
return is approached, the stimulation is stopped. The man
must not allow his partner to begin again until he is absolutely
sure he is back under control, even if this means he is beginning
to lose some of his firmness. |
| Herbs
which are useful |
 |
Asparagus
(Safed Musli)
The dried roots of asparagus are used in ayurveda as an phrodisiac.
They are available in the market as Safed Musli. Fifteen grams
of roots boiled in one cup of milk should be taken twice daily.
The regular use of this remedy is valuable in impotency and
premature ejaculation. |
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Garlic
Garlic
is one of the most remarkable home remedies found beneficial
in the treatment of Premature Ejaculation .It is a natural
and harmless aphrodisiac. According to an eminent sexologist
of USA , garlic has a pronounced aphrodisiac effect. It is
a tonic for loss of sexual power due to any cause. |
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Drumstick
A soup made with about 15 gms of drumstick boiled
in 250ml milk is very useful as a sexual tonic in the treatment
of sexual debility. It is
also useful in the functional sterility in both males and
females. The
powder of the dry bark is also valuable in impotency, premature
ejaculation, and thinness of semen. About 120 gms of powder
of the dry bark should be boiled in half a liter of water
of about half an hour. Thirty grams of powder, mixed with
tablespoon of honey, should be taken three times daily for
the month. |
Diet
:
Diet is an important factors, to begin with the patient should adopt
an exclusive fresh fruit diet. Take fresh fruits and fresh fruit
juice twice daily. Concentrate on food like nut, cereals , vegetables,
fruits, milk, honey etc. Avoid smoking, alcohol, tea, coffee all
processed canned refined and denatured foods especially white sugar
and white flour and products made from them.
Life
Style :
Other regimens: All medicines, which produce active sperms of better
quality, are usually aphrodisiac, i.e. they are sex stimulants.
The individual should, however take care not to indulge in sex too
frequently. Restraint in sex is always good for this condition.
| Ayurvedic
Supplements : |
Paradizo
|
Musli
Pak |
Shilajeet
Tablets |
| Ayurvedic
Application (for Massage) : |
Sri
Gopal Taila (Oil) |
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